Halloween, Death and Funerals

I've been somewhat consumed by the impending death of my mother-in-law. I'm sad that her time here with us is almost used up, grateful for having known her and moved by the way that my husband is grieving the loss of his mother, even already now that he's accepting the reality that she won't be around much longer.

Too, it seems that I've been hearing about death quite a bit lately. The death of loved ones close to people I know. It's almost as if death is something the season brings, along with the falling of leaves and the shifting winds.

It seems that there's some truth to this and I'm not the only one who's been thinking this way. Just the other day I received an email from a friend and mentor. She shared a lovely article that I'd like to pass along to you as it provides a fresh and soothing perspective that I've taken great inspiration from.

Halloween, Death and Funerals
By: Michelle Schubnel


I have always loved Halloween. 

As a kid, it was about scoring as
much candy as possible. In my teenage
years, it was a night when I could
justify getting into trouble. And
as an adult, I have totally loved
costuming-up for Halloween parties.

Halloween now has a new meaning for
me. My mom died on October 28, 2005
and her funeral was on Halloween. A
few hours after she died we set
October 31 as the date for the funeral.
At the time I thought, "Well this
really sucks. From now on Halloween
won't be fun because the day will
always remind me of my mom's funeral."

My mother's funeral was a spectacular
East Coast autumn day... clear, crisp
and sunny. As I noticed signs of the
changing season, I remembered something
that I learned from my study of and
participation in Native American
traditions.

According to Native American philosophy,
the time between Halloween (October 31st)
and All Souls Day (November 1st) is the
time of year when the "veil between the
two worlds is the thinnest." It is the
time when the spirit world is closest
and most connected to our physical world
here on earth.

That perspective shifted how I felt about
my mom being buried on Halloween. Instead
of it being a bummer, it was now a gift.
Suddenly it was "pretty cool" that my mom's
funeral was on Halloween.

The next Halloween, one year after my
mother's funeral, I participated in a
sweat lodge ceremony - a native American
prayer tradition, conducted inside a sweat
lodge, which looks like an igloo but feels
like a sauna. During the ceremony we were
reminded that the end of October through
the beginning of November is a powerful
time to connect with the souls and spirits
of people who have passed on.

During that sweat lodge ceremony I felt
my Mom's presence in a big way, much more
so than at any other time since her death.
It was incredibly powerful and enabled me
to see and experience how I can still have
a profound connection with my mom, even
though she is no longer here physically
on earth.

It's now been 5 years since my mother's
death. With the passing of time I have
found that the intense pain and sadness
has lessened, and the overall missing of
my mom has increased. 

If you are experiencing grief from the
loss of a loved one, I encourage you to
take advantage of this special time of
year and connect with the people in your
life who have passed on. Allow the feelings
of sadness and grief to be fully felt. Take
comfort in special memories. Remember and
honor all that you loved about the person.
Ask for guidance and support. This is a
powerful time of year to reconnect.

In memory of:
Barbara Ann Schubnel
1943 - 2005

Barbara at the Venetian
Vegas Trip - Summer 2004

I love and miss you Mom. It's too bad you
never got to meet my wonderful husband Adam.
I know you would love him as much as I do.

reprinted with permission, Michelle Schubnel, Coach & Grow RICH, www.CoachandGrowRICH.com