Extreme Measures

This past week has been a roller coaster ride of sorts.

Not being much of one for amusement parks for their mass appeal evidenced by the crowded long lines, mediocre food, blatant displays of seemingly everything representing the opposite of mindful, sustainable practices that I so love and the sticky-dirtiness that abounds there, I remain intrigued by the rides themselves, particularly the roller coasters. There's something about them that appeals to my high sensation seeking self that's at the same time a blatant assault on my kinder, gentler sensibilities. The way I laugh despite being jostled and bumped and jolted, my parts flailing helplessly at the spastic movements of the monster machine. The way my cheeks cramp from the ridiculous perma-grin plastered across my face as the skin of my cheeks is flung back from the Gs. The way the tears stream from the sheer exposure, not to mention the wind that blasts into me. The way it all comes to a sudden halt and the way it takes me a while to find my sea legs. The extremeness of the entire experience.

There's something about the way I feel completely and helplessly out of control while willingly in the clutches of the roller coaster that feels oddly similar in a somatic sense to the way I've been riding life lately. It's as if I've been flying around on the scaly-hard back of an ethereal dragon, clutching its neck as I hold on for dear life all-the-while being forced to trust its skill in holding us airborne as we loop, dodge and soar. An extreme letting go of affecting any difference at all in the course of our flight or the prospect of a safe landing.

In the midst of the crises inflicting this world, I'm forced to let go. For me, this is self-care in its most extreme form. There's so much that's out of my control. Everything, really, when it comes down to it. Everything except my choices. I just have to be here with all I've got, even those clumsy, odd, and ugly-beastly parts of me and trust that my experience, ability to listen and feel deeply, and my courage to remain open-hearted and vulnerable will be enough.

This is how I choose to be engaged right now. Much as I sometimes fantasize about living in complete isolation, safely complacent and shut off from the pain and suffering, I'm finding that my energy is rising and my compassion is growing by letting myself feel all of this. ...and ultimately, it feels pretty amazing. I'm feeling more connected than ever. What about you? Have you experienced this twisting, churning, inside out turning ride? ...or perhaps you're standing in line waiting to climb on board, or maybe you're keeping yourself safely cushioned within your comfort zone far away from this threatening whorl of chaos, unknown and infinite possibility. Where are you in this wild ride of life and what's the view like from there?