Catching myself gazing deeply at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, scrutinizing the creases of my forehead, the unevenness of my skin tone and the loss of elasticity of the skin of my throat, I shift my thoughts in an effort to distract myself from what could become a seriously vicious game of a let's-find-all-your-flaws. Struck by the metaphor of the looking glass, I decide to take a look, instead, at what's good and true in my life by reviewing the events of this past year. Remind myself what I've been up to, what I've learned and give myself credit for a few things (for a change...). "Step away from the mirror!" I say sternly to myself. I shift my energy and my attitude consciously by moving to my favorite sitting spot, closing my eyes and allowing the meanness of my mind to clear. Hum saaaaaa.....
After several breaths (okay, maybe a hundred or so), a sense of freedom rises within me and my kinder, gentler self emerges. "You've had one pretty amazing year, Lydia!" she says, brightly. "You're not kidding," I respond. "I think it was the best year yet!" we chime together.
I open my eyes and feel tremendously refreshed. My curiosity pulls me over to my calendar to review all that's happened. Being seen (REALLY being seen), new career, training after training, amazing (like never before) learning experiences, adventure, travel (finally used my passport!), new and deepening connections, new friends, new clients, deceit and the opportunity to recover from it, death, death, death, including it all and releasing the stuff that no longer serves me. A big year, indeed.
One unexpected benefit of all that happened to me in this past year is that others are getting more of the good stuff that comes from me and me of them. There's a sort of conscious expansion that's happening between those I'm closest to that's nothing less than magical. It's like what I got out of this year has boiled over, providing others with the results of my lessons as I've learned BIG and have more of myself to give than ever.
Here are some of the discoveries, explorations and highlights of my year:
MAGNITUDE -- a clear realization that I've been playing way too small my whole life and that I must step forth boldly, take bigger risks, become visible (highly visible) and achieve great things...
COACHING -- now THIS is a way I can serve! mentoring, supporting, listening, growing, transforming, connecting... profoundly satisfying!
AWARENESS -- I now know WAY more about myself (thus the world) than ever... I'm gaining confidence, skills, mastery, wisdom, patience, compassion and a sense of the synergy that exists in REAL learning -- magical.
SELF-COMPASSION -- stopped beating myself up (I'm still working on this one) and began treating myself more like someone I dearly love. People are imperfect and prone to making mistakes and poor judgment calls. Forgive thyself and start living NOW!
LOSS -- it happens, it hurts, include it in all that you are and feel it fully. Tremendous growth follows.
ADVENTURE -- just do it! live today. explore without judgment and with plenty of curiosity, be with everything that happens as it happens... pure bliss!
As the year winds down, I feel an increasing sense of gratitude for my life and the opportunities that I've been blessed with. There are so many things that I've experienced for the first time and seemingly countless and interwoven themes to accompany the moments I've spent. Surprisingly, and what feels like another first, I'm not overwhelmed by the hugeness of all this, rather I feel very well fed. Nurtured.
When you look back on your year, what do you notice? What have you learned? How have you stepped forth? Give yourself the time and space to reflect a bit and acknowledge yourself for all you've been through, good and bad. Let me know how it goes, will you? Just leave a comment here...
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Something's about to shift...
Tomorrow's Winter Solstice will be paraded in by a full moon and a total lunar eclipse tonight. Opinions seem to vary on the significance of this astronomical coincidence, however it's certainly a rare astronomical event. Wikipedia says, "It will be the first total lunar eclipse to occur on the day of the Winter Solstice since 1638." I can't help but feel that this marks the apex of a great turning.
Go ahead, google it... there are plenty of articles out there saying this and that. My idealistic nature tends toward following the threads of hope and possibility. My sensitive nature tells me to celebrate this occurrence by setting some intentions and staying up late to watch this celestial ceremony take place.
Here's a little of what I've learned in exploring this phenomenon:
According to Molly's Astrology, "The Full Moon is the culmination of the Moon’s cycle, and the beginning of the waning phase. . . . This is a good period for working on ourselves, finalizing things, processing information, wrapping up, and letting go of the things we don’t need anymore. This is a time for progress in the inner, rather than outer, realm. Farmers often use this time to plant root crops, which grow under the surface of the earth. A Lunar eclipse is a very special Full Moon. Decisions we make, things we let go of, and things we finish during this waning cycle have significance in the future. It is an excellent time to give up an old habit, for example, smoking. Full Moons in general, and Lunar eclipses in particular, are times of high emotion, and they bring awareness. The Sun and the Moon, our animus and our emotions, are on opposite sides of the sky, as if the other were a mirror. This is a time of mirroring, we can see ourselves in others if we are willing to look."
In the past weeks, I'd already begun finishing up old projects that have been looming and readying myself to shed what no longer serves, somehow driven to do this -- now more than ever before in my life. This letting go makes room to feel our emotions deeply and learn from them, allowing the new-found knowledge to turn to wisdom in our bodies as we assimilate what we're learning on a cellular level. As we take in each breath of the eclipsing moon as the Earth's shadow melds with the Solstice Sun's radiance to cast a blood-red glow, the breath swirling into the farthest reaches of our being, the Universe breathes us back.
This eclipsing moon is happening during what is known astrologically as The Long Night's Moon [astrologyexplored.net] and the Winter Solstice. "In Celtic mythology the Winter Solstice marks the death of the “old king” an allegory for the old year, and the birth of the “new king,” the New Year. There will be endings, but in these events are the seeds of new growth. In Celtic legend, the “new king’s” birth is hidden until December 24th, when the days start to visibly lengthen. The period in between the solstice and December 24th is called the nameless day, a period suspended between death and birth and belonging to the realm of the underworld. Eclipses act like an exclamation point . . . !"
It's a time of celebration -- for the coming year, the lengthening of the days, and now the new and great things on the horizon. ...and for me and a few other people I know, a birthday! I hope you'll join me in celebrating by looking skyward tonight and setting an intention of what you'd like to let go of, bring to a close, once and for all END! If you can't stay up that late don't worry, what's most important is that you give voice to what you're willing to let go of. What better time than now for preparing to kick off the next big thing in your life or even hit the "restart" button altogether.
I'd love to know what you will be casting off tonight. You can share some of your intentions here by leaving a comment.
Go ahead, google it... there are plenty of articles out there saying this and that. My idealistic nature tends toward following the threads of hope and possibility. My sensitive nature tells me to celebrate this occurrence by setting some intentions and staying up late to watch this celestial ceremony take place.
Here's a little of what I've learned in exploring this phenomenon:
According to Molly's Astrology, "The Full Moon is the culmination of the Moon’s cycle, and the beginning of the waning phase. . . . This is a good period for working on ourselves, finalizing things, processing information, wrapping up, and letting go of the things we don’t need anymore. This is a time for progress in the inner, rather than outer, realm. Farmers often use this time to plant root crops, which grow under the surface of the earth. A Lunar eclipse is a very special Full Moon. Decisions we make, things we let go of, and things we finish during this waning cycle have significance in the future. It is an excellent time to give up an old habit, for example, smoking. Full Moons in general, and Lunar eclipses in particular, are times of high emotion, and they bring awareness. The Sun and the Moon, our animus and our emotions, are on opposite sides of the sky, as if the other were a mirror. This is a time of mirroring, we can see ourselves in others if we are willing to look."
In the past weeks, I'd already begun finishing up old projects that have been looming and readying myself to shed what no longer serves, somehow driven to do this -- now more than ever before in my life. This letting go makes room to feel our emotions deeply and learn from them, allowing the new-found knowledge to turn to wisdom in our bodies as we assimilate what we're learning on a cellular level. As we take in each breath of the eclipsing moon as the Earth's shadow melds with the Solstice Sun's radiance to cast a blood-red glow, the breath swirling into the farthest reaches of our being, the Universe breathes us back.
This eclipsing moon is happening during what is known astrologically as The Long Night's Moon [astrologyexplored.net] and the Winter Solstice. "In Celtic mythology the Winter Solstice marks the death of the “old king” an allegory for the old year, and the birth of the “new king,” the New Year. There will be endings, but in these events are the seeds of new growth. In Celtic legend, the “new king’s” birth is hidden until December 24th, when the days start to visibly lengthen. The period in between the solstice and December 24th is called the nameless day, a period suspended between death and birth and belonging to the realm of the underworld. Eclipses act like an exclamation point . . . !"
It's a time of celebration -- for the coming year, the lengthening of the days, and now the new and great things on the horizon. ...and for me and a few other people I know, a birthday! I hope you'll join me in celebrating by looking skyward tonight and setting an intention of what you'd like to let go of, bring to a close, once and for all END! If you can't stay up that late don't worry, what's most important is that you give voice to what you're willing to let go of. What better time than now for preparing to kick off the next big thing in your life or even hit the "restart" button altogether.
I'd love to know what you will be casting off tonight. You can share some of your intentions here by leaving a comment.
Monday, December 13, 2010
I found my voice today!
I didn't realize it until I got into my car and headed to town this morning that it's been over a week since I've been able to sing. I just started singing along to the radio, as I almost always do, and realized that it felt REALLY good. Then, I realized that I hadn't been able to sing or even hum at all for the past nine days due to a cold that had infected my upper respiratory system, causing fits of dry, croupy coughs with seemingly no instigation. I couldn't even clear my throat, let alone put a lilt in my speaking voice without setting off a coughing fit. Singing had been out of the question.
Now, the interesting thing here is that I had been given the opportunity to see just how profoundly I had missed being able to sing! It was that REALLY good feeling evoked from singing along to the radio this morning that reminded me just how important this is as a creative outlet for me. I'm by no means an exceptional singer, and I rarely, if ever, sing for anyone but myself. In fact, I don't see myself as one who is particularly creative on purpose, as in an artist or a musician or a writer. This experience has helped me to see that I actually do use my creativity purposefully, even though the end product of my creativity isn't something tangible that another could hold, hear or read. The movement of my breath and voice, my face and mouth, my body's dance (as much as is possible while safely driving, that is!) and my hands' drumming of the steering wheel shifts and churns my emotions in such a way that I feel increasingly freed as I move along toward my destination. A sort of eyes-wide-open moving meditation, if you will. The further I go down the road, the better I'm able to let go of the doubt, the anger, the sadness, the judgment, the self-deprication... I'm brought toward a centeredness that enables me to walk tall, almost floating through each step.
I'm grateful for this unplanned fast from singing for the new appreciation it's brought me. I wonder what else I do that's a creative expression of sorts. I'm excited to use this new awareness to stretch my creativity and honor its natural place within me. I wonder what creative expressions others have that are missed when time or ills won't allow for them to be voiced. What about you?
Now, the interesting thing here is that I had been given the opportunity to see just how profoundly I had missed being able to sing! It was that REALLY good feeling evoked from singing along to the radio this morning that reminded me just how important this is as a creative outlet for me. I'm by no means an exceptional singer, and I rarely, if ever, sing for anyone but myself. In fact, I don't see myself as one who is particularly creative on purpose, as in an artist or a musician or a writer. This experience has helped me to see that I actually do use my creativity purposefully, even though the end product of my creativity isn't something tangible that another could hold, hear or read. The movement of my breath and voice, my face and mouth, my body's dance (as much as is possible while safely driving, that is!) and my hands' drumming of the steering wheel shifts and churns my emotions in such a way that I feel increasingly freed as I move along toward my destination. A sort of eyes-wide-open moving meditation, if you will. The further I go down the road, the better I'm able to let go of the doubt, the anger, the sadness, the judgment, the self-deprication... I'm brought toward a centeredness that enables me to walk tall, almost floating through each step.
I'm grateful for this unplanned fast from singing for the new appreciation it's brought me. I wonder what else I do that's a creative expression of sorts. I'm excited to use this new awareness to stretch my creativity and honor its natural place within me. I wonder what creative expressions others have that are missed when time or ills won't allow for them to be voiced. What about you?
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