Reflections

Catching myself gazing deeply at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, scrutinizing the creases of my forehead, the unevenness of my skin tone and the loss of elasticity of the skin of my throat, I shift my thoughts in an effort to distract myself from what could become a seriously vicious game of a let's-find-all-your-flaws. Struck by the metaphor of the looking glass, I decide to take a look, instead, at what's good and true in my life by reviewing the events of this past year. Remind myself what I've been up to, what I've learned and give myself credit for a few things (for a change...). "Step away from the mirror!" I say sternly to myself. I shift my energy and my attitude consciously by moving to my favorite sitting spot, closing my eyes and allowing the meanness of my mind to clear. Hum saaaaaa.....

After several breaths (okay, maybe a hundred or so), a sense of freedom rises within me and my kinder, gentler self emerges. "You've had one pretty amazing year, Lydia!" she says, brightly. "You're not kidding," I respond. "I think it was the best year yet!" we chime together.

I open my eyes and feel tremendously refreshed. My curiosity pulls me over to my calendar to review all that's happened. Being seen (REALLY being seen), new career, training after training, amazing (like never before) learning experiences,  adventure, travel (finally used my passport!), new and deepening connections, new friends, new clients, deceit and the opportunity to recover from it, death, death, death, including it all and releasing the stuff that no longer serves me. A big year, indeed.

One unexpected benefit of all that happened to me in this past year is that others are getting more of the good stuff that comes from me and me of them. There's a sort of conscious expansion that's happening between those I'm closest to that's nothing less than magical. It's like what I got out of this year has boiled over, providing others with the results of my lessons as I've learned BIG and have more of myself to give than ever.

Here are some of the discoveries, explorations and highlights of my year:
MAGNITUDE -- a clear realization that I've been playing way too small my whole life and that I must step forth boldly, take bigger risks, become visible (highly visible) and achieve great things...

COACHING -- now THIS is a way I can serve! mentoring, supporting, listening, growing, transforming, connecting... profoundly satisfying!

AWARENESS -- I now know WAY more about myself (thus the world) than ever... I'm gaining confidence, skills, mastery, wisdom, patience, compassion and a sense of the synergy that exists in REAL learning -- magical.

SELF-COMPASSION -- stopped beating myself up (I'm still working on this one) and began treating myself more like someone I dearly love. People are imperfect and prone to making mistakes and poor judgment calls. Forgive thyself and start living NOW!

LOSS -- it happens, it hurts, include it in all that you are and feel it fully. Tremendous growth follows.

ADVENTURE -- just do it! live today. explore without judgment and with plenty of curiosity, be with everything that happens as it happens... pure bliss!

As the year winds down, I feel an increasing sense of gratitude for my life and the opportunities that I've been blessed with. There are so many things that I've experienced for the first time and seemingly countless and interwoven themes to accompany the moments I've spent. Surprisingly, and what feels like another first, I'm not overwhelmed by the hugeness of all this, rather I feel very well fed. Nurtured.

When you look back on your year, what do you notice? What have you learned? How have you stepped forth? Give yourself the time and space to reflect a bit and acknowledge yourself for all you've been through, good and bad. Let me know how it goes, will you? Just leave a comment here...