Creativity as Self Care

Have you ever considered adding a creativity practice to your self-care regimen? Personally, I hadn't until a couple months ago when I was invited to beta test a mentor's new program. This was a writer's circle -- a safe place where I could come together with others to explore what it meant to fill my well, to feel into the areas that I'm stuck creatively, to see what keeps me stuck, to learn what releases me, and to actually get some writing done.

I got all that and more! Much to my surprise, I learned that the simple act of creating (writing short fiction, in this particular case) IS what fills my well. When my creative well is full, I am contently sated and at ease, yet somehow at the same time bristling with energy. Creativity is one way for me to raise my frequency, as it were, so that I feel soul-fed and, well, happy. ...but, alas, I found that it was really about the creative process becoming a regular practice. Something that I had to make room for regularly. For some, that means daily. For me, it's more like 4-5 days per week on average. It also integrates well into my life. I found that 30 minutes was sufficient for me and that using a timer freed me from distraction. The time flew, the words came seemingly out of nowhere and before I knew it I had the makings of a surprisingly adventurous tale. Never, before then, had I suspected that I would actually be sitting down to write a short story!

More surprising than all of this was the way the rest of my life began to flow after these creative writing sprints become a devoted practice. I found that I looked forward to each next session, happily anticipating how the story might unfold. My imagination and sense of things expanded in a way that felt right deep down in my cells. Solutions to long-standing problems began to simply come to me in moments of quiet. There was a strong sense of being cared for in a way I hadn't felt before. I was allowing myself to create, finally! It seemed awkward at first, but then it came into its natural, albeit somewhat chaotic and often fumbling, flow.

If you're a writer or simply have a sense that creative practice is missing in your life, I highly recommend setting a creative practice in motion for yourself. I like to do all sorts of creative things in addition to my fiction writing, like cook, draw, play/work in the garden and imagine. I think I might even learn how to knit to see if that's another outlet for me! Much of the work I do with my clients could even be categorized as creative as we explore the unknown together, discovering important guides and resources that are steadfast champions and always abundant. I want you to feel the freedom that comes from having such a practice for yourself. I wonder where you might find it?

So, next time you find yourself wishing for something, get creative! It might just be as easy as letting yourself do that artful thing you've not been letting yourself do!

Your creativity will thank you. Big time. I'd love to hear how it goes!

...and if writing IS your thing, my mentor, Jenna Avery, is starting her next Writer's Circle this coming Monday, November 28th. Check it out at: Just Do The Writing
(Full disclosure: this is an affiliate link and I earn commission from sales generated through this link. I highly recommend Jenna's work with or without the commission. ;o) )

In Praise of Wildness

In my struggle to release the grip my mind has had lately on wanting to figure Everything out, to over-intellectualize, as it were, I've been turning inward, creating space and quietude. For myself.

Then, this morning, in yoga, my teacher shared this passage that brought Everything into perspective. Into my cells, actually...

Here's what she read:

"Wildness is the state of complete awareness. That's why we need it."

~Gary Snyder, Turtle Island

The more still we become

the more wildness arises within.

Does a lion feel the pleasure

of its power gathering

like river water at a dam,

its strength building as it sleeps,

dreaming of the chase?

Can a snake never be straight,

but merely uncoiled,

waiting to spring to movement?

Is a hurricane a wilderness of air?

A cyclone a suspended door

to a turbulent sky?

Does the heart grow larger

in the glassed-in chest

when we forgive?

That's the wildness.

Can you let it

embolden you,

made form, made flesh?

From this wildness,

can every cell in your body

find gratitude,

make praise?

~Leza Lowitz, an excerpt from Yoga Heart

...and so, I invite you to sit quietly and breathe into that wildness. May it bring you a felt sense of knowing, a keen awareness beyond words.

Namaste.

Keeping the holidays meaningful... even for YOU!

It's right about this time each year that I start hearing whimpers of dread and anxious anticipation over the coming holidays crying out with a sort of longing for something more, something different.

What if the holidays could be happily exciting, deeply satisfying, and even energizing for you? Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Now don't get me wrong, the holidays are certainly not dreadful in and of themselves. It's just that it's so easy to become subsumed in all the hoopla out there and it may not be so easy to honor yourself and what you need and want out of the whole shebang in the process.

Perhaps it isn't easy to shift out of those icky-feeling perspectives of the holidays, yet at the same time it is possible and fairly simple to create a shift in yourself that will allow you to relax and enjoy yourself this season.

It's about getting clear on what's important to you, making room for that important stuff to become more present and showing up to ring in the good cheer in your own, beautiful way.

Here are six questions to ask yourself that will help to evoke that shift (I've provided some answers of my own as examples. I'm asking myself about Thanksgiving in this case. It helps to be very specific, so try and stick to addressing each holiday event separately. You can always use what you've learned from looking at one event to help you in the others.):

1) What do you need and not need? What you think (or know) others expect of you will creep in here -- be careful to focus on your own needs when answering this question.
I need: deep connection, an opportunity to share abundance, to honor the harvest, to be encouraged to express myself and to feel safe and cared for in the company that's present.
I do not need: to travel long distances, to be with people who don't wish to engage with me, or to overindulge.
*hint* look to what matters most to you (your core values) to assist you here.


2) What is your role THIS year? How do you want to take part? Notice how others' expectations of you creep in here, too. Focus on yourself and the part you want to play.
This year: I'm Sister -- accepting a warm and welcoming invitation to be with my sister and her partner and the others they've opened their home to this day; I'm Wife and Partner -- resting into the safety and strength the relationship I have with my husband provides; I'm Mom, Daughter and, again, Sister -- connecting with my daughter, parents and other siblings by phone, meeting them right where they are; I'm Thankful -- being aware of things that come up for me and expressing gratitude for the depth with which I feel, the insights that I gain by paying attention and the way connection is built through coming together, sharing a meal and talking about what we're grateful for and other things that are important to us.

3) Is there an emotion or feeling that you push aside when you think about all this?
Guilt and loneliness are mine. Perhaps you feel sad or misunderstood. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed. Spend some time with this feeling, really be with this feeling, and notice what comes up. Blame? Fear? Relief? Anger? Where do you feel this emotion or feeling in your body? It's helpful to do this in conversation with a close friend, mentor or another who supports you.

4) What are you grateful for? Give voice to these things and be open to listening to the gratitude others express.
I'm grateful for my loving family, my ability to listen deeply and the amazing uncertainty of each new day.

5) What traditions would you like to manifest? Take a look at the beliefs and customs you've experienced around celebrating your holiday in question. What do you want to carry forward? What do you want to add or change? I like to think about what causes me and my family the least amount of stress when I consider this one. I also like to focus on what I love about the holiday and leave the rest. ;o)
I love the tradition of having certain items on the menu: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, pie, cranberry sauce and a green vegetable are a must. My additions to this piece are that we always buy an organic, free-range, locally grown turkey, my husband prepares it on the grill, and our green veggie of choice is brussels sprouts (as opposed to the green bean casserole my mom always made). Most, if not all, of the ingredients for our meal are locally and sustainably grown. Since we're going to my Sister's for Thanksgiving this year, we'll reserve a day in December to create our own feast, just the way we like it.
There's a sense of warmth, of feeling welcome, of coming home.
I create a safe and comfortable environment for myself and encourage others to express their needs so that we can co-create safe and comfortable spaces for them, too.
I connect with my extended family by phone and share stories with them of the celebrations in store for each of us.
I engage in sharing abundance and gratitude and encourage others to do the same.

6) What about next year? To keep things as anxiety-free as possible, it's important to be flexible and focus on what matters at the present time. Know that in future years your needs, roles and emotions may be different. You may be a guest and be uninvolved with preparing the meal (or selecting its ingredients) or hosting the festivities, you may not have someone with you that you'd like to have with you, or you may choose to forgo a particular event and focus on other traditions you've identified as important to you. Revisit these questions each year to be sure you're honoring your own traditions and keep your meaning of the holidays current.

Identifying what's important to you then choosing to honor those things will give you tremendous freedom. Honor your values this holiday season. It's a good first step in keeping the holidays meaningful!

What's important to you? I'd love to hear what comes up as you consider these six questions. Be gentle with yourself, take your time and have fun!