Yesterday someone asked me, "How are you planning for 2012?"
This got me thinking, "Am I planning for 2012? Is planning even my thing?"
...and so, I've been sitting with these questions and here is what came to me...
I am enjoying the winding down of the season, the shortening of the days, and the lengthening of the nights. I have been turning inward, sleeping more, reading more, spending more time alone (is that even possible??) and feeding my body what it craves. Interestingly, the days and nights have been gorgeously clear and crisp, the sun-shadows-scents-wind-stars-moon richly present. I've been feeding my soul with nature's beauty and have noticed the few-and-far-between conversations I'm having with others are deep and wonderful. Mmmm...
I am spending time this week and next in the mindset of strategic planning. I'm initiating some changes for my business and my vision for these changes is HUGE! I'm giving this vision room to step forth and take form. ...and in the midst of making room, people have stepped in to help and support me... Who knew?
I am beginning to reflect, but not dwell, on my past experiences, wins, failures (Ta Da!!), awarenesses, pains, achievements, fears, and connections. I may focus on this calendar year or I may not. Lately I've been noticing stuff from my early childhood and my late teenage years that deserves refection, too. I'm also reflecting on the synchronicities I've encountered in just the span of last week or yesterday or this morning, for that matter. It's a practice of witnessing my past with loving curiosity and equanimity. I'm witnessing a life of adventure and discovery unfolding before my very own inward gaze. Wow!
Now, for me, since I've been asked, I can honestly say that I have been planning and at the same time reflecting and being very present in each moment. ...and as I step back, I can see that planning is my thing in this organic sort of way. I wouldn't say that my plans are bounded neatly within the next calendar year, however. As I take a good look, I can see that my plans range from broad to specific, simple to complex, and as near term as this afternoon, as long term as my whole foreseeable life. For me, 2012 is less an interval to plan within and more a milestone filled with milestones -- to reach, to witness, to look back and reflect upon.
What about you? How are you planning for 2012? Is planning even your thing? Please share by leaving a comment.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Creativity as Self Care
Have you ever considered adding a creativity practice to your self-care regimen? Personally, I hadn't until a couple months ago when I was invited to beta test a mentor's new program. This was a writer's circle -- a safe place where I could come together with others to explore what it meant to fill my well, to feel into the areas that I'm stuck creatively, to see what keeps me stuck, to learn what releases me, and to actually get some writing done.
I got all that and more! Much to my surprise, I learned that the simple act of creating (writing short fiction, in this particular case) IS what fills my well. When my creative well is full, I am contently sated and at ease, yet somehow at the same time bristling with energy. Creativity is one way for me to raise my frequency, as it were, so that I feel soul-fed and, well, happy. ...but, alas, I found that it was really about the creative process becoming a regular practice. Something that I had to make room for regularly. For some, that means daily. For me, it's more like 4-5 days per week on average. It also integrates well into my life. I found that 30 minutes was sufficient for me and that using a timer freed me from distraction. The time flew, the words came seemingly out of nowhere and before I knew it I had the makings of a surprisingly adventurous tale. Never, before then, had I suspected that I would actually be sitting down to write a short story!
More surprising than all of this was the way the rest of my life began to flow after these creative writing sprints become a devoted practice. I found that I looked forward to each next session, happily anticipating how the story might unfold. My imagination and sense of things expanded in a way that felt right deep down in my cells. Solutions to long-standing problems began to simply come to me in moments of quiet. There was a strong sense of being cared for in a way I hadn't felt before. I was allowing myself to create, finally! It seemed awkward at first, but then it came into its natural, albeit somewhat chaotic and often fumbling, flow.
If you're a writer or simply have a sense that creative practice is missing in your life, I highly recommend setting a creative practice in motion for yourself. I like to do all sorts of creative things in addition to my fiction writing, like cook, draw, play/work in the garden and imagine. I think I might even learn how to knit to see if that's another outlet for me! Much of the work I do with my clients could even be categorized as creative as we explore the unknown together, discovering important guides and resources that are steadfast champions and always abundant. I want you to feel the freedom that comes from having such a practice for yourself. I wonder where you might find it?
So, next time you find yourself wishing for something, get creative! It might just be as easy as letting yourself do that artful thing you've not been letting yourself do!
Your creativity will thank you. Big time. I'd love to hear how it goes!
...and if writing IS your thing, my mentor, Jenna Avery, is starting her next Writer's Circle this coming Monday, November 28th. Check it out at: Just Do The Writing
(Full disclosure: this is an affiliate link and I earn commission from sales generated through this link. I highly recommend Jenna's work with or without the commission. ;o) )
I got all that and more! Much to my surprise, I learned that the simple act of creating (writing short fiction, in this particular case) IS what fills my well. When my creative well is full, I am contently sated and at ease, yet somehow at the same time bristling with energy. Creativity is one way for me to raise my frequency, as it were, so that I feel soul-fed and, well, happy. ...but, alas, I found that it was really about the creative process becoming a regular practice. Something that I had to make room for regularly. For some, that means daily. For me, it's more like 4-5 days per week on average. It also integrates well into my life. I found that 30 minutes was sufficient for me and that using a timer freed me from distraction. The time flew, the words came seemingly out of nowhere and before I knew it I had the makings of a surprisingly adventurous tale. Never, before then, had I suspected that I would actually be sitting down to write a short story!
More surprising than all of this was the way the rest of my life began to flow after these creative writing sprints become a devoted practice. I found that I looked forward to each next session, happily anticipating how the story might unfold. My imagination and sense of things expanded in a way that felt right deep down in my cells. Solutions to long-standing problems began to simply come to me in moments of quiet. There was a strong sense of being cared for in a way I hadn't felt before. I was allowing myself to create, finally! It seemed awkward at first, but then it came into its natural, albeit somewhat chaotic and often fumbling, flow.
If you're a writer or simply have a sense that creative practice is missing in your life, I highly recommend setting a creative practice in motion for yourself. I like to do all sorts of creative things in addition to my fiction writing, like cook, draw, play/work in the garden and imagine. I think I might even learn how to knit to see if that's another outlet for me! Much of the work I do with my clients could even be categorized as creative as we explore the unknown together, discovering important guides and resources that are steadfast champions and always abundant. I want you to feel the freedom that comes from having such a practice for yourself. I wonder where you might find it?
So, next time you find yourself wishing for something, get creative! It might just be as easy as letting yourself do that artful thing you've not been letting yourself do!
Your creativity will thank you. Big time. I'd love to hear how it goes!
...and if writing IS your thing, my mentor, Jenna Avery, is starting her next Writer's Circle this coming Monday, November 28th. Check it out at: Just Do The Writing
(Full disclosure: this is an affiliate link and I earn commission from sales generated through this link. I highly recommend Jenna's work with or without the commission. ;o) )
Friday, November 18, 2011
In Praise of Wildness
In my struggle to release the grip my mind has had lately on wanting to figure Everything out, to over-intellectualize, as it were, I've been turning inward, creating space and quietude. For myself.
Then, this morning, in yoga, my teacher shared this passage that brought Everything into perspective. Into my cells, actually...
Here's what she read:
"Wildness is the state of complete awareness. That's why we need it."
Then, this morning, in yoga, my teacher shared this passage that brought Everything into perspective. Into my cells, actually...
Here's what she read:
"Wildness is the state of complete awareness. That's why we need it."
~Gary Snyder, Turtle Island
The more still we become
the more wildness arises within.
Does a lion feel the pleasure
of its power gathering
like river water at a dam,
its strength building as it sleeps,
dreaming of the chase?
Can a snake never be straight,
but merely uncoiled,
waiting to spring to movement?
Is a hurricane a wilderness of air?
A cyclone a suspended door
to a turbulent sky?
Does the heart grow larger
in the glassed-in chest
when we forgive?
That's the wildness.
Can you let it
embolden you,
made form, made flesh?
From this wildness,
can every cell in your body
find gratitude,
make praise?
~Leza Lowitz, an excerpt from Yoga Heart
...and so, I invite you to sit quietly and breathe into that wildness. May it bring you a felt sense of knowing, a keen awareness beyond words.
Namaste.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Keeping the holidays meaningful... even for YOU!
It's right about this time each year that I start hearing whimpers of dread and anxious anticipation over the coming holidays crying out with a sort of longing for something more, something different.
What if the holidays could be happily exciting, deeply satisfying, and even energizing for you? Wouldn't that be wonderful?
Now don't get me wrong, the holidays are certainly not dreadful in and of themselves. It's just that it's so easy to become subsumed in all the hoopla out there and it may not be so easy to honor yourself and what you need and want out of the whole shebang in the process.
Perhaps it isn't easy to shift out of those icky-feeling perspectives of the holidays, yet at the same time it is possible and fairly simple to create a shift in yourself that will allow you to relax and enjoy yourself this season.
It's about getting clear on what's important to you, making room for that important stuff to become more present and showing up to ring in the good cheer in your own, beautiful way.
Here are six questions to ask yourself that will help to evoke that shift (I've provided some answers of my own as examples. I'm asking myself about Thanksgiving in this case. It helps to be very specific, so try and stick to addressing each holiday event separately. You can always use what you've learned from looking at one event to help you in the others.):
1) What do you need and not need? What you think (or know) others expect of you will creep in here -- be careful to focus on your own needs when answering this question.
I need: deep connection, an opportunity to share abundance, to honor the harvest, to be encouraged to express myself and to feel safe and cared for in the company that's present.
I do not need: to travel long distances, to be with people who don't wish to engage with me, or to overindulge.
*hint* look to what matters most to you (your core values) to assist you here.
2) What is your role THIS year? How do you want to take part? Notice how others' expectations of you creep in here, too. Focus on yourself and the part you want to play.
This year: I'm Sister -- accepting a warm and welcoming invitation to be with my sister and her partner and the others they've opened their home to this day; I'm Wife and Partner -- resting into the safety and strength the relationship I have with my husband provides; I'm Mom, Daughter and, again, Sister -- connecting with my daughter, parents and other siblings by phone, meeting them right where they are; I'm Thankful -- being aware of things that come up for me and expressing gratitude for the depth with which I feel, the insights that I gain by paying attention and the way connection is built through coming together, sharing a meal and talking about what we're grateful for and other things that are important to us.
3) Is there an emotion or feeling that you push aside when you think about all this?
Guilt and loneliness are mine. Perhaps you feel sad or misunderstood. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed. Spend some time with this feeling, really be with this feeling, and notice what comes up. Blame? Fear? Relief? Anger? Where do you feel this emotion or feeling in your body? It's helpful to do this in conversation with a close friend, mentor or another who supports you.
4) What are you grateful for? Give voice to these things and be open to listening to the gratitude others express.
I'm grateful for my loving family, my ability to listen deeply and the amazing uncertainty of each new day.
5) What traditions would you like to manifest? Take a look at the beliefs and customs you've experienced around celebrating your holiday in question. What do you want to carry forward? What do you want to add or change? I like to think about what causes me and my family the least amount of stress when I consider this one. I also like to focus on what I love about the holiday and leave the rest. ;o)
I love the tradition of having certain items on the menu: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, pie, cranberry sauce and a green vegetable are a must. My additions to this piece are that we always buy an organic, free-range, locally grown turkey, my husband prepares it on the grill, and our green veggie of choice is brussels sprouts (as opposed to the green bean casserole my mom always made). Most, if not all, of the ingredients for our meal are locally and sustainably grown. Since we're going to my Sister's for Thanksgiving this year, we'll reserve a day in December to create our own feast, just the way we like it.
There's a sense of warmth, of feeling welcome, of coming home.
I create a safe and comfortable environment for myself and encourage others to express their needs so that we can co-create safe and comfortable spaces for them, too.
I connect with my extended family by phone and share stories with them of the celebrations in store for each of us.
I engage in sharing abundance and gratitude and encourage others to do the same.
6) What about next year? To keep things as anxiety-free as possible, it's important to be flexible and focus on what matters at the present time. Know that in future years your needs, roles and emotions may be different. You may be a guest and be uninvolved with preparing the meal (or selecting its ingredients) or hosting the festivities, you may not have someone with you that you'd like to have with you, or you may choose to forgo a particular event and focus on other traditions you've identified as important to you. Revisit these questions each year to be sure you're honoring your own traditions and keep your meaning of the holidays current.
Identifying what's important to you then choosing to honor those things will give you tremendous freedom. Honor your values this holiday season. It's a good first step in keeping the holidays meaningful!
What's important to you? I'd love to hear what comes up as you consider these six questions. Be gentle with yourself, take your time and have fun!
What if the holidays could be happily exciting, deeply satisfying, and even energizing for you? Wouldn't that be wonderful?
Now don't get me wrong, the holidays are certainly not dreadful in and of themselves. It's just that it's so easy to become subsumed in all the hoopla out there and it may not be so easy to honor yourself and what you need and want out of the whole shebang in the process.
Perhaps it isn't easy to shift out of those icky-feeling perspectives of the holidays, yet at the same time it is possible and fairly simple to create a shift in yourself that will allow you to relax and enjoy yourself this season.
It's about getting clear on what's important to you, making room for that important stuff to become more present and showing up to ring in the good cheer in your own, beautiful way.
Here are six questions to ask yourself that will help to evoke that shift (I've provided some answers of my own as examples. I'm asking myself about Thanksgiving in this case. It helps to be very specific, so try and stick to addressing each holiday event separately. You can always use what you've learned from looking at one event to help you in the others.):
1) What do you need and not need? What you think (or know) others expect of you will creep in here -- be careful to focus on your own needs when answering this question.
I need: deep connection, an opportunity to share abundance, to honor the harvest, to be encouraged to express myself and to feel safe and cared for in the company that's present.
I do not need: to travel long distances, to be with people who don't wish to engage with me, or to overindulge.
*hint* look to what matters most to you (your core values) to assist you here.
2) What is your role THIS year? How do you want to take part? Notice how others' expectations of you creep in here, too. Focus on yourself and the part you want to play.
This year: I'm Sister -- accepting a warm and welcoming invitation to be with my sister and her partner and the others they've opened their home to this day; I'm Wife and Partner -- resting into the safety and strength the relationship I have with my husband provides; I'm Mom, Daughter and, again, Sister -- connecting with my daughter, parents and other siblings by phone, meeting them right where they are; I'm Thankful -- being aware of things that come up for me and expressing gratitude for the depth with which I feel, the insights that I gain by paying attention and the way connection is built through coming together, sharing a meal and talking about what we're grateful for and other things that are important to us.
3) Is there an emotion or feeling that you push aside when you think about all this?
Guilt and loneliness are mine. Perhaps you feel sad or misunderstood. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed. Spend some time with this feeling, really be with this feeling, and notice what comes up. Blame? Fear? Relief? Anger? Where do you feel this emotion or feeling in your body? It's helpful to do this in conversation with a close friend, mentor or another who supports you.
4) What are you grateful for? Give voice to these things and be open to listening to the gratitude others express.
I'm grateful for my loving family, my ability to listen deeply and the amazing uncertainty of each new day.
5) What traditions would you like to manifest? Take a look at the beliefs and customs you've experienced around celebrating your holiday in question. What do you want to carry forward? What do you want to add or change? I like to think about what causes me and my family the least amount of stress when I consider this one. I also like to focus on what I love about the holiday and leave the rest. ;o)
I love the tradition of having certain items on the menu: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, pie, cranberry sauce and a green vegetable are a must. My additions to this piece are that we always buy an organic, free-range, locally grown turkey, my husband prepares it on the grill, and our green veggie of choice is brussels sprouts (as opposed to the green bean casserole my mom always made). Most, if not all, of the ingredients for our meal are locally and sustainably grown. Since we're going to my Sister's for Thanksgiving this year, we'll reserve a day in December to create our own feast, just the way we like it.
There's a sense of warmth, of feeling welcome, of coming home.
I create a safe and comfortable environment for myself and encourage others to express their needs so that we can co-create safe and comfortable spaces for them, too.
I connect with my extended family by phone and share stories with them of the celebrations in store for each of us.
I engage in sharing abundance and gratitude and encourage others to do the same.
6) What about next year? To keep things as anxiety-free as possible, it's important to be flexible and focus on what matters at the present time. Know that in future years your needs, roles and emotions may be different. You may be a guest and be uninvolved with preparing the meal (or selecting its ingredients) or hosting the festivities, you may not have someone with you that you'd like to have with you, or you may choose to forgo a particular event and focus on other traditions you've identified as important to you. Revisit these questions each year to be sure you're honoring your own traditions and keep your meaning of the holidays current.
Identifying what's important to you then choosing to honor those things will give you tremendous freedom. Honor your values this holiday season. It's a good first step in keeping the holidays meaningful!
What's important to you? I'd love to hear what comes up as you consider these six questions. Be gentle with yourself, take your time and have fun!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
A Heretic's Path
I'm ready to come out. I admit it. I'm a bit of a heretic. It's deep within my nature to stand in the face of Opposition (perceived and real) and defy its polar essence. ...and by Opposition, I mean conventional beliefs, the beliefs of the righteous, the acts of those who are party to destructive conflict, even simple emotions such as fear or reactions such as self preservation. Anything that feels like it gets in the way of or brings one to avoid something bigger, possibly scary and probably something a bit more uncertain. One big reason that I'm here (on this Earth, at this time, writing this blog post right now) is to stand up and shout "YOU CARE, SO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!" I'm here to stand by you as you stand in your own fear and reactions to face whatever opposition comes your way. We each need to show up, big time. The safety of inaction and complacency IS part of the problem. Things are NOT just the way they are. We CAN do something about it. Resignation does not equal Acceptance. It's missing the critical element of Compassion.
As a part of my celebration of and involvement in the growing movement of Peace, I've been listening to calls on The Shift Network's program, PeaceWeek 2011. I've been moved again and again by the possibilities and encouragement that's been presented. I was blessed to be on calls with two of my heroes (and, dare I say, role models?), Marianne Williamson and Deepak Chopra. Hearing their voices again helped to clear away the static and present me, once again, with the evidence and inspiration I needed to refuel my heretic's spirit.
My take-away, that I'd like to share with you, is that PEACE IS POSSIBLE and we each have a role to play in making this possibility increasingly the reality. Marianne Williamson spoke of Fierce Peace -- actually standing at the heated centers of conflict and bringing Love in. Deepak Chopra spoke that Peace is the Way -- that it's an inside-out process, that Peace starts and is cultivated within, then flows outward. Both presented practical methods each of us can use to move our intentions of peace into appropriate actions of peace as we make our invaluable contributions to the expansion of Peace everywhere. You can access recordings to their talks (and many others) here.
For me, being on this heretic's path requires an attitude of passionate equanimity (or at least holding that as the ideal state to step forth from). ...and as a sensitive idealist, that ain't easy! In this state, I can feel others' suffering and not turn away in fear or with feelings of helplessness to do anything. I know where my responsibility lies, and that's as a transformative change agent.
There are three threads that I noticed in common between Marianne and Deepak's talks that seem to speak to finding that place of passionate equanimity so we can stand fiercely in the face of [perceived] opposition and make the difference we're meant to make.
It's an inside-out process. Peace starts within and flows outward, expanding. The intention of peace is amplified by our own personal growth, our own particular level of consciousness. Peace grows and flows like a rich, primordial stew.
So, I wonder... What's your role in the expansion of peace? If peace isn't your thing, then what is? What do you want to see more of in the world that you can bring with you the next place you show up? I'd love to hear from you about this -- please comment below.
As a part of my celebration of and involvement in the growing movement of Peace, I've been listening to calls on The Shift Network's program, PeaceWeek 2011. I've been moved again and again by the possibilities and encouragement that's been presented. I was blessed to be on calls with two of my heroes (and, dare I say, role models?), Marianne Williamson and Deepak Chopra. Hearing their voices again helped to clear away the static and present me, once again, with the evidence and inspiration I needed to refuel my heretic's spirit.
My take-away, that I'd like to share with you, is that PEACE IS POSSIBLE and we each have a role to play in making this possibility increasingly the reality. Marianne Williamson spoke of Fierce Peace -- actually standing at the heated centers of conflict and bringing Love in. Deepak Chopra spoke that Peace is the Way -- that it's an inside-out process, that Peace starts and is cultivated within, then flows outward. Both presented practical methods each of us can use to move our intentions of peace into appropriate actions of peace as we make our invaluable contributions to the expansion of Peace everywhere. You can access recordings to their talks (and many others) here.
For me, being on this heretic's path requires an attitude of passionate equanimity (or at least holding that as the ideal state to step forth from). ...and as a sensitive idealist, that ain't easy! In this state, I can feel others' suffering and not turn away in fear or with feelings of helplessness to do anything. I know where my responsibility lies, and that's as a transformative change agent.
There are three threads that I noticed in common between Marianne and Deepak's talks that seem to speak to finding that place of passionate equanimity so we can stand fiercely in the face of [perceived] opposition and make the difference we're meant to make.
- We must continually address our own issues and stay in an upward trajectory of personal growth. This piece is internal, psycho-physical and includes self-care. Yes, we will backslide into old patterns, get caught up in other people's business and be stumped at times as to where to turn or how to keep going, but we must feel into the persistence of Life within us and keep growing. The seed of our intentions lies here.
- We must hold a spiritual connection, whether that's through prayer, meditation, walks in the woods or following the teachings of a sage or messiah, in order to remain inspired. There's maintenance involved here, too, which can mean cultivating creativity, taking spiritual retreats, being in community, and practicing gratitude. Our spiritual connection amplifies our intentions.
- We must stand courageously compassionate. This is where we show up bringing with us what we want to see more of in the world, things like respect, tolerance, consideration, deep, attentive listening... Our intentions are transmitted, reflected and compounded exponentially by everything around us.
It's an inside-out process. Peace starts within and flows outward, expanding. The intention of peace is amplified by our own personal growth, our own particular level of consciousness. Peace grows and flows like a rich, primordial stew.
So, I wonder... What's your role in the expansion of peace? If peace isn't your thing, then what is? What do you want to see more of in the world that you can bring with you the next place you show up? I'd love to hear from you about this -- please comment below.
Monday, September 5, 2011
September
Dreams, Intuition and the Inner Life
September is a pivotal month during which the outward-directed energy of summer begins to shift inward in preparation for the six months spent in the darkness of the Earth Mother's womb.
This month we will review our lives in the form of spiritual autobiography.
We will open our sixth sense by noticing synchronicities, and we will enter the world of dreams.
September is the gateway to Mystery, and as the Medicine Wheel turns from summer to fall, we are greeted by the Archangel Raphael
--the Healer of God--
who remedies the sickness of belief in perfection by administering the great medicine of wholeness. Listen to the voices of the Ancient Ones
who call from the mycelial mat that grows beneath the forest floor:
The inner and outer
harvests are complete
and the storehouse of the unconscious
is swept clean.
We enter the Gates of Mystery
through the Dreamworld
descending into the
fertile darkness in which our souls
are made new again.
excerpt from Pocketful of Miracles: Prayers, Meditations, and Affirmations to Nurture Your Spirit Every Day of the Year, by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D.
My yoga teacher reads to us during savasana and this is what she read the other morning. It's been hanging with me as so much of it has been feeling so true and right as we enter this new month that I want to share it. My dreams have been hauntingly real. Have yours? Things I've been needing, like gathering with friends and family, have seemingly just happened for me -- synchronicity's clearly at play. What synchronicities are you noticing?
The "great medicine of wholeness" has been deftly offered to me in difficult-to-swallow, yet somehow just-right doses. Dark moments have come on mysteriously and left me clearer and even energized as I rode them out, grasping their meaning when I could and trusting my strength and safety through the discomfort. There's something here about enoughness, I think. This inflection point between summer and fall being the time that we get to notice, perhaps for this first time, areas where we've been trying too hard seeking perfection, areas that need to heal.
I wonder what messages lie in my Dreamworld? This passage has given me food for thought and a bit of the magical spark that I love to move me onward and upward toward the coming season. What does the transition toward fall-time mean for you?
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The Healing Edge: an Introduction
One of the things I've been blessed with in my life is a very rich yoga practice. For me, it's become my wisest teacher, surprising me with new insights and a felt sense of rightness each time I practice. The concept of the healing edge was introduced to me through yoga and has been persistent in my practice from nearly the beginning. It's become a hugely helpful tool for growth as I bring what I've learned and continue to learn in yoga into my entire life.
In a nutshell, the healing edge is that place in you where, if you push past it, you risk injury, and if you don't quite reach it, you stay in the status quo. Your healing edge is that place of balanced effort and surrender where you find equanimity. I've found that it seems to be somewhere between 50 and 70% exerted effort. You go too far and you're struggling, flailing, hurting yourself (or even others); not far enough and you feel like you're lazing your way through, not trying at all. You feel bored, stuck in the same ol' place, or wonder "what's the point of this? it's too easy." The healing edge is that luscious place in between, it's that moving thread of just-right balance where insight is alive and possibility is transformed into something that really IS.
This healing edge is particularly helpful for those of us who are in a state of perpetual growth, always learning and striving to be better. I've been using it a bunch lately to work past difficult patches and the effect has been nothing short of transformative! It has helped me to tap into my internal wisdom, using it as my guide, to grow stronger, more courageous and easy-going. As a highly sensitive person, I'm prone to overwhelm at certain times and I've gotten pretty good at managing those times that are environmental or emotional in nature, but things get a bit tricky when the question of the purpose of my existence comes into play.
Perhaps this concept is totally new to you, so let me break it down. The idea of the healing edge has to do with the fact that the physical growth of living things happens at the edges. Two examples come to mind...
Imagine a sprouting seed, for one example. Under the right conditions, a dry, hard seed placed into soil will eventually sprout and transform into something grander, more substantial, more effective, more whole -- its ultimate plant form. It is at its healing edge where both new growth springs forth and old tissues die away.
As the seed swells and cracks through its outer shell, the cells of the sprout differentiate to become the first leaves, stem and rootlings of this new plant, the leaves grow and unfold, creating a pressure that eventually bursts forth from the hard outer casing entirely. The rootlings turn to roots, becoming thicker and more effective at drawing nutrients and water as they reach downward and outward, expanding their hold and growing their network. The tiny petiole of a stem that was once tucked between the first leaves and the rootlings of this new seedling, widens as it lengthens, developing its structure especially designed for supporting the plant physically and providing a sort of conduit through which nutrients and water flow. The earliest leaves unfurl and spread as they follow the path of the apical meristem of the original germ, that persistent place in this budding form where cell differentiation initiates. This is the place where the cells of the new leaves, stems, and branches, possibly even flowers and fruit if it's in the plant's nature to develop those, get their functional assignments and transform from the same-same cells of the early seed to the reaching, growing, absorbing, breathing, supporting cells of the growing plant's whole self. The plant continues to grow as its cells differentiate throughout its entire life. It is at that place of differentiation where the healing edge of this plant resides.
Now, let's bring this into the human realm.
My favorite pose in yoga for finding my healing edge at this stage in my personal growth and yoga practice is Parsvottanasana because of its rich offerings of strengthening and flexibility in nearly every part of the body all at once. This pose creates an experience for me to feel wholly into those places of growth within my body and offers the fringe benefit of calming the mind. When I hold the pose long enough, exerting just the right amount of effort to maintain my alignment while deepening the stretch, breathing into it deeply to create space and relax into a place of feeling physically supported and held, I can begin to feel into those places of growth within my psyche and my soul. A simpler pose I'd like to offer is Upavistha Konasana (seated wide angle) as a another example of finding your healing edge so that you, too, can begin to bring it into your life. Check out Jess Ryan's video as she demonstrates. Notice how she speaks of "finding your own edge" about 2:40 minutes into the recording. As you practice this pose, you might even notice how you can find your own edge not only in how far you lean forward, but in the width of the angle of your legs, or even in the subtle nuances you can feel as you release into the pose. This is a great place to begin developing your awareness of this concept of the healing edge in your body so you can then begin bringing this awareness with you as you go about living your whole and beautiful life.
What other examples can you draw on from your own vast knowledge base to help you to find and explore your healing edge? Can you find it? How can you use it to nourish and germinate the seed of your intention -- the purpose behind your very existence? It just takes practice. Let it work its magic in you ... one breath at a time.
In a nutshell, the healing edge is that place in you where, if you push past it, you risk injury, and if you don't quite reach it, you stay in the status quo. Your healing edge is that place of balanced effort and surrender where you find equanimity. I've found that it seems to be somewhere between 50 and 70% exerted effort. You go too far and you're struggling, flailing, hurting yourself (or even others); not far enough and you feel like you're lazing your way through, not trying at all. You feel bored, stuck in the same ol' place, or wonder "what's the point of this? it's too easy." The healing edge is that luscious place in between, it's that moving thread of just-right balance where insight is alive and possibility is transformed into something that really IS.
This healing edge is particularly helpful for those of us who are in a state of perpetual growth, always learning and striving to be better. I've been using it a bunch lately to work past difficult patches and the effect has been nothing short of transformative! It has helped me to tap into my internal wisdom, using it as my guide, to grow stronger, more courageous and easy-going. As a highly sensitive person, I'm prone to overwhelm at certain times and I've gotten pretty good at managing those times that are environmental or emotional in nature, but things get a bit tricky when the question of the purpose of my existence comes into play.
Perhaps this concept is totally new to you, so let me break it down. The idea of the healing edge has to do with the fact that the physical growth of living things happens at the edges. Two examples come to mind...
Imagine a sprouting seed, for one example. Under the right conditions, a dry, hard seed placed into soil will eventually sprout and transform into something grander, more substantial, more effective, more whole -- its ultimate plant form. It is at its healing edge where both new growth springs forth and old tissues die away.
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Picture taken from http://www.steve.gb.com/science/plant_growth.html |
Now, let's bring this into the human realm.
My favorite pose in yoga for finding my healing edge at this stage in my personal growth and yoga practice is Parsvottanasana because of its rich offerings of strengthening and flexibility in nearly every part of the body all at once. This pose creates an experience for me to feel wholly into those places of growth within my body and offers the fringe benefit of calming the mind. When I hold the pose long enough, exerting just the right amount of effort to maintain my alignment while deepening the stretch, breathing into it deeply to create space and relax into a place of feeling physically supported and held, I can begin to feel into those places of growth within my psyche and my soul. A simpler pose I'd like to offer is Upavistha Konasana (seated wide angle) as a another example of finding your healing edge so that you, too, can begin to bring it into your life. Check out Jess Ryan's video as she demonstrates. Notice how she speaks of "finding your own edge" about 2:40 minutes into the recording. As you practice this pose, you might even notice how you can find your own edge not only in how far you lean forward, but in the width of the angle of your legs, or even in the subtle nuances you can feel as you release into the pose. This is a great place to begin developing your awareness of this concept of the healing edge in your body so you can then begin bringing this awareness with you as you go about living your whole and beautiful life.
What other examples can you draw on from your own vast knowledge base to help you to find and explore your healing edge? Can you find it? How can you use it to nourish and germinate the seed of your intention -- the purpose behind your very existence? It just takes practice. Let it work its magic in you ... one breath at a time.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Interested vs. Interesting
My thoughts keep coming back to themes that were introduced to me while reading Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
, by Mark Goulston and I'd like to share one of those themes here for you to give you a taste of the nature of the power of just listening that the author presents. 
But let's back up a little first, as this topic requires a little background. From Chapter 2: "A Little Science: How the Brain Goes from 'No' to 'Yes.'" Here, the author gives the reader a quick lesson in brain physiology. We humans have a three-part brain, each part interconnected with the others while prone to acting autonomously, especially when we're under stress. I'll paraphrase his brief description of each part here:
- "The lower reptilian brain is the "fight-or-flight" part of your brain. . . . all about acting and reacting, without a lot of thinking going on. It can also leave you frozen in a perceived crisis--the 'deer-in-the-headlights' response.
- The middle mammal brain is the seat of your emotions. It's where powerful feelings--love, joy, sadness, anger, grief, jealousy, pleasure--arise.
- The upper or primate brain is . . . the part that weighs a situation logically and rationally and generates a conscious plan of action. [It] collects data from the reptile and mammal brains, sifts it, analyzes it, and makes practical, smart, and ethical decisions."
This chapter also briefly introduces us to some specialized nerve cells called mirror neurons. It is believed by many scientists and others who study these things that these cells "may form the basis for human empathy. . . . they briefly make us feel what another person is feeling, like when you cringe when you watch a coworker get a paper cut. For an instant, it's just as if it's happening to you, and, in a way, it is."
Dr. Goulston's clinical studies support his theory that "we constantly mirror the world, conforming . . . trying to win its love and approval. And each time we mirror the world, it creates a little reciprocal hunger to be mirrored back. If that hunger isn't filled, we develop what [Dr. Goulston] refers to as 'mirror neuron receptor deficit.' In today's world, it's easy to imagine that deficit growing into a deep ache. Many people . . . feel that they give their best, only to be met day after day with apathy, hostility or (possibly worst of all) no response at all."
In a nutshell, providing the much-needed response helps another to feel felt.
Now, on to Chapter 6, "Be More Interested Than Interesting." The boiled down piece of advice given here is this: if you'd like someone to be interested in you, don't try to be interesting. Be really and truly interested in them. "The more you narrow the person's mirror neuron receptor deficit, the more intrigued the person is with you in return, and the more empathy the person feels toward you."
Imagine what the world would be like if everywhere we went people were interested! Gorgeous! (okay, maybe that's a little frightening, but imagine if at least the people you wish were interested were interested!)
There's a tremendous amount of other powerfully useful information contained in this book and I highly recommend it. I particularly appreciate the straight-forward style that the author uses, which makes the very rich content easy to take in. He not only gives helpful tips on relating to others on a level that can bring about significant shifts for the individuals involved, but I was particularly impressed that he suggests how the reader can turn these tips on themselves to deepen the learning, further develop and become a better listener.
If you've read this book or would like to read it, let's continue the conversation in the comment section below. ...and please, if you feel in any way pressured by this recommendation, to read, to grow, to participate -- I, too, have a growing pile of books (metaphoric and for real) that I've yet to read, accompanied by a growing pile of things to work on and engage with and will never get to them all in this life, so I totally hear you -- just take in what I've shared here and let that be enough for now. :o)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Clear Vision: Clear Voice
Ruth and I continued the conversation.
LP: Ruth, your music and passionate presence speaks volumes. I witnessed this first-hand when I saw you perform. And then there's your work as a voice coach, the Singing Belt, your stance against domestic violence and all the contributions you channel toward anti-domestic violence organizations. The way you've woven your study of violence throughout your work is beautifully inspiring.
What is it that inspires you to inspire others in this way?
RG: I am very influenced by the people who reached out to me a child and mentored me early on in my life. Teachers, counselors, my grandparents. Also, by the artists who would have no idea of their effect--Emmanuel Levinas, Franz Rosenzweig, Bob Dylan, Cat Stevens. There are songs, movies and books that I can point to which I believe not only guided and inspired me, but may have saved my life--Harold and Maude, It's A Wonderful Life, The Plague by Camus. I have found strength, understanding, and a way out of difficult places from listening to a song over and over, or reading the same chapters, staying with a painting, watching a movie fifty times.
LP: I'm wondering about your vision for the work you do in the world. Tell me about your vision.
RG: I wish that I could respond that I have a vision. I think that is something to aspire to. I hope for a global movement to understand domestic violence and violence against children, and I believe that the roots of violence stem from infancy. A vision of global peace cannot begin until there is peace in the home. Levinas says that "contact is gentleness and responsibility." Nature is a repetition of patterns, as well as a layering of them.
LP: Is there anything else you'd like my readers to know?
RG: I'd like readers to know that if they have any questions or comments, to feel free to reach me at mail@ruthgerson.com. A great question/comment can be very helpful and I will try to answer on my blog, or if it's directly related to voice work, then on the Singingbelt website. Also, that if they would either like to host a living room concert for fun or for a charity, such as AVON Foundation, Sanctuary For Families, Shalom-Bayit, The Family Violence Prevention Fund or another organization, they can email booking@ruthgerson.com. This is a quick quote from the host of a living room concert I did [recently] for the Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Center in Davis - I thought it would be nice to share it:
"Last night Ruth performed a concert at our house to raise money for a local shelter. I can't thank Ruth enough for how much she touched our lives and the 50 people who attended. The shelter's director commented that no one had ever done something like this for them. Our friends were raving about Ruth--her music, her energy, her generous spirit. Over and over people thanked us for including them in this event and introducing them to Ruth. If you haven't done a living room concert with her yet, you haven't lived!" ~Sarah Zimmerman
Ruth Gerson is currently living and working in the San Francisco Bay area, doing Living Room Concerts, vocal coaching and using everything she's got to express her vision loud and clear! I've gained new perspective about the importance of self-expression, especially as it relates to perpetuating peace in the world. I'm even thinking about signing up for some vocal coaching. Thanks, Ruth! You rock!! What does Ruth Gerson's work inspire in you? Please take a minute and let me know by leaving a comment.
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