The Healing Edge: an Introduction

One of the things I've been blessed with in my life is a very rich yoga practice. For me, it's become my wisest teacher, surprising me with new insights and a felt sense of rightness each time I practice. The concept of the healing edge was introduced to me through yoga and has been persistent in my practice from nearly the beginning. It's become a hugely helpful tool for growth as I bring what I've learned and continue to learn in yoga into my entire life.

In a nutshell, the healing edge is that place in you where, if you push past it, you risk injury, and if you don't quite reach it, you stay in the status quo. Your healing edge is that place of balanced effort and surrender where you find equanimity. I've found that it seems to be somewhere between 50 and 70% exerted effort. You go too far and you're struggling, flailing, hurting yourself (or even others); not far enough and you feel like you're lazing your way through, not trying at all. You feel bored, stuck in the same ol' place, or wonder "what's the point of this? it's too easy." The healing edge is that luscious place in between, it's that moving thread of just-right balance where insight is alive and possibility is transformed into something that really IS.

This healing edge is particularly helpful for those of us who are in a state of perpetual growth, always learning and striving to be better. I've been using it a bunch lately to work past difficult patches and the effect has been nothing short of transformative! It has helped me to tap into my internal wisdom, using it as my guide, to grow stronger, more courageous and easy-going. As a highly sensitive person, I'm prone to overwhelm at certain times and I've gotten pretty good at managing those times that are environmental or emotional in nature, but things get a bit tricky when the question of the purpose of my existence comes into play.

Perhaps this concept is totally new to you, so let me break it down. The idea of the healing edge has to do with the fact that the physical growth of living things happens at the edges. Two examples come to mind...

Imagine a sprouting seed, for one example. Under the right conditions, a dry, hard seed placed into soil will eventually sprout and transform into something grander, more substantial, more effective, more whole -- its ultimate plant form. It is at its healing edge where both new growth springs forth and old tissues die away.

Picture taken from http://www.steve.gb.com/science/plant_growth.html

As the seed swells and cracks through its outer shell, the cells of the sprout differentiate to become the first leaves, stem and rootlings of this new plant, the leaves grow and unfold, creating a pressure that eventually bursts forth from the hard outer casing entirely. The rootlings turn to roots,  becoming thicker and more effective at drawing nutrients and water as they reach downward and outward, expanding their hold and growing their network. The tiny petiole of a stem that was once tucked between the first leaves and the rootlings of this new seedling, widens as it lengthens, developing its structure especially designed for supporting the plant physically and providing a sort of conduit through which nutrients and water flow. The earliest leaves unfurl and spread as they follow the path of the apical meristem of the original germ, that persistent place in this budding form where cell differentiation initiates. This is the place where the cells of the new leaves, stems, and branches, possibly even flowers and fruit if it's in the plant's nature to develop those, get their functional assignments and transform from the same-same cells of the early seed to the reaching, growing, absorbing, breathing, supporting cells of the growing plant's whole self. The plant continues to grow as its cells differentiate throughout its entire life. It is at that place of differentiation where the healing edge of this plant resides.

Now, let's bring this into the human realm.

My favorite pose in yoga for finding my healing edge at this stage in my personal growth and yoga practice is Parsvottanasana because of its rich offerings of strengthening and flexibility in nearly every part of the body all at once. This pose creates an experience for me to feel wholly into those places of growth within my body and offers the fringe benefit of calming the mind. When I hold the pose long enough, exerting just the right amount of effort to maintain my alignment while deepening the stretch, breathing into it deeply to create space and relax into a place of feeling physically supported and held, I can begin to feel into those places of growth within my psyche and my soul. A simpler pose I'd like to offer is Upavistha Konasana (seated wide angle) as a another example of finding your healing edge so that you, too, can begin to bring it into your life. Check out Jess Ryan's video as she demonstrates. Notice how she speaks of "finding your own edge" about 2:40 minutes into the recording. As you practice this pose, you might even notice how you can find your own edge not only in how far you lean forward, but in the width of the angle of your legs, or even in the subtle nuances you can feel as you release into the pose. This is a great place to begin developing your awareness of this concept of the healing edge in your body so you can then begin bringing this awareness with you as you go about living your whole and beautiful life.

What other examples can you draw on from your own vast knowledge base to help you to find and explore your healing edge? Can you find it? How can you use it to nourish and germinate the seed of your intention -- the purpose behind your very existence? It just takes practice. Let it work its magic in you ... one breath at a time.

Wants vs. Needs

I've been receiving a wide variety of messages from the Universe lately. Finally, things are clicking together and I'm starting to see the lesson that has been laid out in front of me.

Here's what I've encountered:
In my mastermind group last week, there was a blow-up that questioned the level of commitment each of us has to our common goals. It was clear that what at least two of us in the group wanted was different enough that it caused us to come to a place of conflict. This blow-up provided me with a clear lesson in discernment, which opened up my awareness around the effect I have on people when I show up wearing my intentions on my sleeve -- in this case, my willingness to be vulnerable and to be in a place of not knowing. This new level of awareness around discernment allowed me to bring inspiration to others a couple days later as we focused together on the last line of the Serenity Prayer: "...and the wisdom to know the difference." Somehow, first knowing the difference brought me the courage to share my story, then came the serenity of acceptance as I began to see the events of the blow-up as opportunities to gain clarity and tremendous insight.

Then, this past weekend, I was in another situation where several of us were co-leading and got into a state of stumbling around trying to anticipate each other's needs. Well, we got all snagged up at one point and when we came together later to clear and regroup, we each realized that we'd made certain incorrect assumptions about the others' needs so we each talked about what we wanted for ourselves and for the group and made room to give voice to our intentions more carefully, with more specific detail. I know that what I encountered earlier in the week had a direct affect on the speed of recovery in this snafu.

Still, I wasn't sure why I'd been thrown into two difficult situations in one week. It had something to do with discernment, showing up fully and being present enough to make use of whatever's here in the moment -- I knew at least that much.

This morning it all came together for me as I read Molly Gordon's latest blog post. It was about Wants vs. Needs! In day to day life, we rarely get the opportunity to candidly speak of what we need without sounding, well, needy. I've been given a now very clear reminder of the importance of discerning between wants and needs layered with taking into consideration who I'm in relationship with, what my intentions are for the relationship at that moment and how I share those intentions. Those of us of the highly sensitive variety get to experience a focus on needs when we choose to attend HSP Gatherings and often carry that into other situations. Other times we might get to talk about needs in certain open-hearted environments that provide deep, loving support. But outside of those circumstances, it's generally our job to first get clear on our own needs, keep the focus of our needs on ourselves AND in so doing, share our wants with others so that we can find and acquire the resources we need to grow. Ahhhh...

Where has the discernment between wants and needs shown up in your life recently? I'd love to hear from you, so please leave a comment below.

Information is Key

I had planned to write today's blog post on my experiences while traveling in Cambodia last summer, but the events of my last fifteen hours or so have pointed me in another direction.

While working diligently yesterday afternoon on my homework for the awesome business-building course I'm taking, my elder dog, Kelly, was out back suffering from the sudden onset of what I believe to be Vestibular Disease. My focus was on myself and my work and I hadn't noticed how quiet my dogs were being as I plugged away happily, feeling quite content with my progress. You can imagine my dismay and gut-wrenching sadness when I went to let the girls in and found our dear Kelly seemingly unable to sense the location of the Earth beneath her, a dribble of saliva dangling from her typically dainty muzzle. I stood stricken, at first wanting to blame myself for putting her outside to begin with, then shaking with fear, almost paralyzed at the thought that I, we, might be losing her. I remained immersed in this sense of impending loss, sadness and fear for a few moments as I did a quick scan of the yard. Yes, there it was -- further evidence that she had been suffering for a while -- vomit, times five. Now, about ready to hurl, not at finding the puke, but because the fear and impending loss were twisting my stomach around their fingers. Then, as Kelly stood there, unafraid, yet a bit confused, I knew what to do. Seek more information!

I opened my senses and observed her movements while stroking her fur to soothe her. She melted into my care and took comfort in lying down as I coaxed her into her bed. Next, I called the vet to get a sanity check on what was going on... "Is she having a stroke?" I asked. "Not likely," the doc responded. "It's highly unusual for dogs to have strokes or other vascular episodes. It's tough to know what's going on without seeing her," she offered. "I understand, and thank you, but I feel as if I need to keep her here at home, at least for the evening, so I can be with her and get a better sense of what's going on." The doctor graciously gave me a few more minutes of her time as I shared more of Kelly's symptoms: nausea, drooling, refusing water and food, and a disoriented presence, paddling her legs about as if she were unsure how to use them. She agreed that it wasn't unreasonable for Kelly to stay at home tonight, then she provided me with a clue. "It could be something called Old Dog Vestibular Disease. This is a condition where they become suddenly dizzy, which would be in line with the symptoms that you're describing. You can treat the dizziness with Bonine to see if that helps." Wow! Okay, a new direction. I felt the grip on my stomach loosen a bit as I thanked the doctor, hung up the phone, and took a few deep breaths.

Now, as the details of Kelly's condition are still unfolding, I'll have to ask you to check back with me to see how things progress. Meanwhile, to share a bit more about how all this applies to my bigger story...

I'm beginning to see a pattern. The discovery of my dog in this state led me to open up my senses, look for clues not only in the physical landscape, but within my emotional body. My gut literally convinced me to seek out enough information to get very clear on the right thing to do. Being very present to the situation, to my dog, and to myself helped me to navigate the information that was coming in and to know, really know, what to do next. Without my presence, I could very well have spent the whole night fretting on the uncertainty of Kelly's lifespan, spinning tales of my own ineptitude at caring for my pets, or some other unproductive crazy-making activity. If information is key, perhaps presence is the hand that turns it.

Something's about to shift...

Tomorrow's Winter Solstice will be paraded in by a full moon and a total lunar eclipse tonight. Opinions seem to vary on the significance of this astronomical coincidence, however it's certainly a rare astronomical event. Wikipedia says, "It will be the first total lunar eclipse to occur on the day of the Winter Solstice since 1638."  I can't help but feel that this marks the apex of a great turning.

Go ahead, google it... there are plenty of articles out there saying this and that. My idealistic nature tends toward following the threads of hope and possibility. My sensitive nature tells me to celebrate this occurrence by setting some intentions and staying up late to watch this celestial ceremony take place.

Here's a little of what I've learned in exploring this phenomenon:
According to Molly's Astrology, "The Full Moon is the culmination of the Moon’s cycle, and the beginning of the waning phase. . . . This is a good period for working on ourselves, finalizing things, processing information, wrapping up, and letting go of the things we don’t need anymore. This is a time for progress in the inner, rather than outer, realm. Farmers often use this time to plant root crops, which grow under the surface of the earth. A Lunar eclipse is a very special Full Moon. Decisions we make, things we let go of, and things we finish during this waning cycle have significance in the future. It is an excellent time to give up an old habit, for example, smoking. Full Moons in general, and Lunar eclipses in particular, are times of high emotion, and they bring awareness. The Sun and the Moon, our animus and our emotions, are on opposite sides of the sky, as if the other were a mirror. This is a time of mirroring, we can see ourselves in others if we are willing to look."

In the past weeks, I'd already begun finishing up old projects that have been looming and readying myself to shed what no longer serves, somehow driven to do this -- now more than ever before in my life. This letting go makes room to feel our emotions deeply and learn from them, allowing the new-found knowledge to turn to wisdom in our bodies as we assimilate what we're learning on a cellular level. As we take in each breath of the eclipsing moon as the Earth's shadow melds with the Solstice Sun's radiance to cast a blood-red glow, the breath swirling into the farthest reaches of our being, the Universe breathes us back.

This eclipsing moon is happening during what is known astrologically as The Long Night's Moon [astrologyexplored.net] and the Winter Solstice. "In Celtic mythology the Winter Solstice marks the death of the “old king” an allegory for the old year, and the birth of the “new king,” the New Year. There will be endings, but in these events are the seeds of new growth. In Celtic legend, the “new king’s” birth is hidden until December 24th, when the days start to visibly lengthen. The period in between the solstice and December 24th is called the nameless day, a period suspended between death and birth and belonging to the realm of the underworld. Eclipses act like an exclamation point . . . !"

It's a time of celebration -- for the coming year, the lengthening of the days, and now the new and great things on the horizon. ...and for me and a few other people I know, a birthday! I hope you'll join me in celebrating by looking skyward tonight and setting an intention of what you'd like to let go of, bring to a close, once and for all END! If you can't stay up that late don't worry, what's most important is that you give voice to what you're willing to let go of. What better time than now for preparing to kick off the next big thing in your life or even hit the "restart" button altogether.

I'd love to know what you will be casting off tonight. You can share some of your intentions here by leaving a comment.

6 tips for giving new meaning to Thanksgiving

This year we're staying home for Thanksgiving, just the three of us. ...and it's such a relief!

For years I would dread the coming of this holiday and I've rebelled against it in many ways throughout my adulthood. I rarely see my original family during this holiday anymore and I've inflicted tremendous guilt on myself for not feeling sad about this. It wasn't until embracing my sadness around the whole concept of Thanksgiving that I have felt not only relief from guilt and what I'm supposed to do, but a deep realization that I've actually not been rebelling so much as defining my own meaning of Thanksgiving.

The traditions set out for us as children are those of our parents and our forebears as taught to us in grade school. It's a time of gathering, possibly with family that may not be able or willing to engage in a way that feels good. It might entail traveling long distances, and at a time when air travel is an absolute cattle call and airfares are high. It means feasting, which can mean having way more food than is needed to feed those at the table, left over to be gorged upon in the coming days when others, even those in our own communities, are hungry and alone. ...and most of all, it means giving thanks, yet there can be a certain religious righteousness that goes all the way back to the Pilgrims that doesn't quite feel right (or at least for me, that's the case). In many ways, it represents traditions that may no longer serve us as adults. The good news is, we get to decide which traditions to carry forward and take the opportunity to reframe the holiday so we can enjoy it!

Answering the following questions can help bring new meaning to Thanksgiving for you. I've provided my own answers to these questions as examples.

1) What do you need and not need? What you think (or know) others expect of you will creep in here -- be careful to focus on your own needs when answering this question.

I need: deep connection, an opportunity to share abundance, to honor the harvest, to be encouraged to express myself and to feel safe and cared for in the company that's present.
I do not need: to travel long distances, to be with people who don't wish to engage with me, or to overindulge.
*hint* look to what matters most to you (your core values) to assist you here

2) What is your role THIS year? How do you want to take part? Notice how others' expectations of you creep in here, too. Focus on yourself and the part you want to play.
This year: I'm Mom -- creating a warm and welcome place for my step-daughter to come home to; I'm Wife -- providing a safe and nurturing refuge to my husband so he can be free to attend to his needs; I'm Daughter and Sister -- connecting with my parents and siblings by phone, meeting them right where they are; I'm a Sensitive Idealist -- donating extra food and volunteer hours to the local food pantry and preparing locally and sustainably grown foods for our table; I'm a Servant-Leader -- teaching by example and encouraging others to get what they need out of this holiday; and I'm a Compassionate Spiritual Being -- grateful to those who have sacrificed and lost, those who have taught me hard lessons and blessed by the abundance in my life.

3) Is there an emotion or feeling that you push aside when you think about all this?
Guilt and sadness are mine. Perhaps you feel lonely or misunderstood. Perhaps you feel overwhelmed. Spend some time with this feeling, really be with this feeling, and notice what comes up. Blame? Fear? Relief? Anger? It's helpful to do this in conversation with a close friend, mentor or another who supports you.

4) What are you grateful for? Give voice to these things and be open to listening to the gratitude others express.
I'm grateful for my loving family, my ability to be compassionate to others' needs and the amazing uncertainty of each new day.

5) What traditions would you like to manifest? Take a look at the beliefs and customs you've experienced around celebrating Thanksgiving. What do you want to carry forward? What do you want to add or change? I like to think about what causes me and my family the least amount of stress when I consider this one. I also like to focus on what I love about the holiday and leave the rest. ;o)
I love the tradition of having certain items on the menu: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, pie, cranberry sauce and a green vegetable are a must. My additions to this piece are that we always buy an organic, free-range, locally grown turkey, my husband prepares it on the grill, and our green veggie of choice is brussels sprouts (as opposed to the green bean casserole my mom always made). Most, if not all, of the ingredients for our meal are locally and sustainably grown.
My husband and I provide a warm and welcome place that my step-daughter looks forward to coming home to.
I create a safe and comfortable environment for myself and encourage others to express their needs so that we can co-create safe and comfortable spaces for them, too.
I connect with my extended family by phone and share stories with them of the celebrations in each of our homes.
I engage in sharing abundance and gratitude and encourage others to do the same.

6) What about next year? It's important to be flexible and focus on what matters at the present time. Know that in future years your needs, roles and emotions may be different. You may be a guest and be uninvolved with preparing the meal (or selecting its ingredients), you may not have someone with you that you'd like to have with you, or you may choose to forgo the meal and focus on other traditions you've identified as important to you. Revisit these questions each year to be sure you're honoring your own traditions and keep your meaning of Thanksgiving current.

Identifying what's important to you then choosing to honor those things will give you tremendous freedom. Honor your values this Thanksgiving. It's a good first step in giving new meaning to the holiday!

An unexpected visitor

As we were driving home from the farmer's market just now, I noticed what I thought was a toad hopping in the road. As I slowed my car to a stop, I realized that it was a baby bird. Concerned that it would get squished by another driver on this shady stretch of country road, I asked my husband to rescue it from the street. Assuming that it was too small to care for itself and guessing that it was kicked out of its nest, we decided to bring it home to see what we could do about providing it with something that might allow it to fully fledge and survive on its own.

When we got home, we pulled out the bird book and identified it as a pygmy nuthatch, Sitta pygmaea. We learned something of its habitat, feeding, and growth and felt blessed to have the opportunity to get to know it better.

Judging by its plumage, we believe it's a she. She's got most of her feathers and appears to be uninjured, but isn't able to fly. Perhaps she's just not ready yet. She happily took some water that we offered her from a dropper and some aphids from our plum tree.

We realize despite our excitement that she's got to be pretty frightened, so we're allowing her some time alone to rest near an open window so she can hear the birds of her species in the trees outside, but not so near the window that she will catch a chill. I know that birds are extremely sensitive to drafts so I want to be careful.

We're encouraged by her willingness to eat and drink what we've offered. She's content enough to preen, so we're taking that as another good sign. The fragile yet persistent lifeforce inside her coaxing her to express her birdness is a profound example of the inner knowing that all beings have to take care of themselves even if it means accepting help from complete strangers. What a brave little bird! I only hope that we can offer her enough of the right stuff to ready her for independence.