Wants vs. Needs

I've been receiving a wide variety of messages from the Universe lately. Finally, things are clicking together and I'm starting to see the lesson that has been laid out in front of me.

Here's what I've encountered:
In my mastermind group last week, there was a blow-up that questioned the level of commitment each of us has to our common goals. It was clear that what at least two of us in the group wanted was different enough that it caused us to come to a place of conflict. This blow-up provided me with a clear lesson in discernment, which opened up my awareness around the effect I have on people when I show up wearing my intentions on my sleeve -- in this case, my willingness to be vulnerable and to be in a place of not knowing. This new level of awareness around discernment allowed me to bring inspiration to others a couple days later as we focused together on the last line of the Serenity Prayer: "...and the wisdom to know the difference." Somehow, first knowing the difference brought me the courage to share my story, then came the serenity of acceptance as I began to see the events of the blow-up as opportunities to gain clarity and tremendous insight.

Then, this past weekend, I was in another situation where several of us were co-leading and got into a state of stumbling around trying to anticipate each other's needs. Well, we got all snagged up at one point and when we came together later to clear and regroup, we each realized that we'd made certain incorrect assumptions about the others' needs so we each talked about what we wanted for ourselves and for the group and made room to give voice to our intentions more carefully, with more specific detail. I know that what I encountered earlier in the week had a direct affect on the speed of recovery in this snafu.

Still, I wasn't sure why I'd been thrown into two difficult situations in one week. It had something to do with discernment, showing up fully and being present enough to make use of whatever's here in the moment -- I knew at least that much.

This morning it all came together for me as I read Molly Gordon's latest blog post. It was about Wants vs. Needs! In day to day life, we rarely get the opportunity to candidly speak of what we need without sounding, well, needy. I've been given a now very clear reminder of the importance of discerning between wants and needs layered with taking into consideration who I'm in relationship with, what my intentions are for the relationship at that moment and how I share those intentions. Those of us of the highly sensitive variety get to experience a focus on needs when we choose to attend HSP Gatherings and often carry that into other situations. Other times we might get to talk about needs in certain open-hearted environments that provide deep, loving support. But outside of those circumstances, it's generally our job to first get clear on our own needs, keep the focus of our needs on ourselves AND in so doing, share our wants with others so that we can find and acquire the resources we need to grow. Ahhhh...

Where has the discernment between wants and needs shown up in your life recently? I'd love to hear from you, so please leave a comment below.